Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I've had it in years past. It would last anywhere from 1 to 6 weeks. I really think it depended on what was going on around me, from year to year.
However, this year I prepared. And rationalized. And talked it out with girlfriends. Every year, it usually hits me in February. By then, I'm exhausted from shovelling snow twice a day, and have too much time on my hands to think. Think about money, the future, and the sitting still doesn't help.
I was waiting for February. And the last week of January, a taste of it caught up to me. And it was over money. And bills. And the pressure all those things create. I prayed hard, and talked to the Universe a LOT, but tried my best to face the realities of all the possible outcomes, if I couldn't make the bills. (This is a self employed life. I imagine the stresses are the same intensity, just different focuses for those traditionally employed.)
However, somehow the month ended and it all came through. I don't know how. I still owe money, and I've got lists on my walls of who gets paid first, or next. But nothing blew up, nobody died, and we're finding creative ways around it.
I really think, for me, the key is to not shut down. To stay open and LISTEN. The opportunities are always there. And, I have issues with sitting still. It's not that I CAN'T, it's just that it's better if I have a book in my hand, so I feel like I'm doing something. (I really do feel like I need to be doing something. Even if it's meditation, I'm thinking before hand "This is the block of time where I rejuvinate and revive my sense of wellness. Therefore I am doing something.")
In other ramblings. It's Sunday morning, and I should be getting de-stinked to go to the Studio for a crafty liquidation sale I'm having. (again - get rid of some stuff I don't use, get some monies for the bank.)
Instead, I'm screwing around on my new Pintrest Board. I'm having fun with it, filling it all with my favourite things.
I've been doing Pole Fitness class. It's super fun and silly. It's always something I wanted to add to my "Resume of Crazy and Adventuresome Experiences." (I need to think up a good anacronym for that. Heh.)
I've lost a little more weight than I intended. I'm sitting around 117, and I only wanted to go as low as 120. So, now it's time to muscle up a bit. I'm not talking weight lifter muscle chic. Just "Firm, thanks."
I been doing belly dancing moves when I walk the kids to school and to the studio. (Hah, picture THAT!) No one can tell, it's all under my winter coat, just moving the ribs, upper and lower belly, and hips. Funny enough, it's been helping me firm up, and I don't even think about it. I need to tell you though, I used to have a pretty soft round belly before this, and being able to see and make my belly move around like that is Fun House Circus level silly. hehe. I'd be fun to do something with it.
My belly dancing DVD has some awesome yoga on it too. And those things are the only thing I'm doing to work out.
Oh, yesterday I went with a girlfriend, as part of her entourage (ha!) for her book signing at Chapters in Barrie. She rocked the house. It was a very very successful day for her! I'll write a proper blog about that a little later.
I have an entire project due for my Sustainable Urban Ag course tomorrow. (Food Dehydration and Drying.) Holy procrastination. I suspect I'll be up all flippin night. (which might be fine. I have no solid tarot readings booked for Monday, so there's the possibility of staying home on Monday. ) It's been a very busy weekend (that started on Thursday for me! lol.) My body is pleasingly exhausted.
Ach. It's 8:20am... I really have to get myself in gear to get to the studio. I'd love to stay and talk more, but I gotta fly. I'll bring the notebook down there, so I can carry on this line of thought. I don't feel like I'm done yet. And I still have to make myself breakfast, a lunch, and de-stink. Oh, snap, and do some quick rabbit chores....
(see. Must Be Always Busy.)