Friday, July 20, 2012

Mr. God, This is Lori.

While digging through a shopping cart full of books today at work, this one popped out... and I made a rather loud noise of happiness - something you might expect more from a goose-like creature than a shop-girl type creature.

I read this book when I was 5. (yes, you read that correctly. 180 pages written for adults. Have I not bragged enough about my childhood super-genius IQ?) And it had an incredible impact on me. I would sneak it off the metal shelf (with the bottom painted or printed with a wood print.) and read it - then slide it back into it's spot, remembering the page I was last on, for next time. It took me about a week to read through.

 At one point my mom came into the livingroom and 'caught' me reading it. I thought for sure I'd be in trouble, as it was just a LITTLE higher on the shelves, which always implied that I shouldn't look in it. My reasoning was, it's ABOUT a 4 year old girl, so it should be ok. She simply asked me "Are you reading that?" I'm not sure how I responded, but I do recall that Mom probably didn't believe I was, and therefore I was in the clear.

Anyway, I LOVED this book. (Although I DO recall being a little concerned that a grown man finds a 4 year old and DOESN'T bother to try and find her parents before bringing her home to raise... ) When my mom and dad split, I only remember visiting my dad at the old house once - and finding the book was gone.

The memory faded a bit, and though I remembered the picture and the cover of the book, I couldn't remember the title  - Dear God? Oh God? It's Anna? I am Anna?

I'm 38 now. And on and off through the years, I've asked that this book come across my hands, if it's meant to be so. I'm just elated to have it.

I wonder if it will take me longer than a week to get through this time. You know, having a few more things to do in life, beyond watching Sesame Street, waiting for lunch, and napping.

I had to share. I'm so excited.


Wednesday, July 11, 2012


One day at a time. One calculated, agenda driven day.
I'm ok with that right now.

Mornings: Hit snooze. Maybe twice. Roll out. 20 minutes of yoga on the bedroom floor. Make my ViSalus shake, brew tea, find food for pixies. Hit Facebook. Make my lunch for work. Remember to brush teeth.

Afternoons: Usually at work. 9:30 to 5. Be silly, have fun, get work done, eat all the snacks, try not to watch the clock.

Evenings: He makes the dinner. I sit online for half an hour and gap out. Pixies dance around me. Eat the dinner, and say thank you. Crafty with pixies. (or movie with pixies. or, pixies please go play somewhere else because you are hopped up on goofballs and your energy is enormous.) Pixies to bed, remember to brush teeth. Get on tarot line. Do readings. Stretch legs, feed rabbits that will find a different belly to sit in. More readings. Random surfing. 1am? oh, bed time.

Repeat. Throw a shower in there every now and again.

Afternoons not at work? Laundry. Long Bath. distractions with pixies, most likely involving music. Weed garden, water garden, library.

I had a point when I started this blog. But it's nearly midnight. I have lost focus.

Ah well. It entertained me for a few minutes. Scheduled that in: Entertainment.

Oh yes. Now I remember.
Things to look forward to! Things to plan. Planning. I haven't done it in a while, or looked forward to anything in a bit... so..

*Applied for another bursary for the University Certificate I'm working towards. (Sustainable Urban Agriculture.) so that I can take the next course in fall. Gives me hope. Makes me feel hopeful.

*Doing readings again has fuelled me. I hadn't done any in months. Sometimes when that happens I feel like I've lost it... or lost something important. Last few days have been all fueled fire.

*After a home study self course thing... I was looking for my Second Act... what is it that I really love doing and want to do NOW?? After doing the whole thing, I realized I WAS doing exactly what I wanted to be doing. Crafty, readings, Gypsy behavior at market selling the crafty things and doing readings.. and doing READINGS! Parties, phone, and STILL in some LITTLE PLACE that will be my own. I was feeling so lost, looking for what ever it is that I felt I was supposed to be moving towards, in letting go of my studio... So weird.

*Working on earning the extra money that pixie is going to require for all that mouth. Working on the extra I'll need for the Big Tall Boys Mouth. (wisdom teeth. They're coming out soon. I'll need $325 for the knock 'em out drugs.) Working. A lot. I hope I fit some summer in here somewhere.

*Day 4, no meat. So far, so good.

*Day 4, Yoga every morning. Also bought some dumbells for my arms. ($1.99 at the thrift shop.) Looking for a routine for the rest of me, that I can do at home. I'll have to put diagrams on the wall, or find a youtube channel to follow along with.

*Getting back into the crafty, thanks to the pixies. For the first time ever, they have shown interest and are sitting for a few hours and working along with me. Fab.

Ok... again... lost my train of thought. Getting late. IM has been quiet. Might 'clock out' a little earlier than 1am.


Monday, July 9, 2012

Marshmallows in Coffee???

My mind has been blown this morning. (Sometimes it doesn't take much. ehehe.)

My online friend Steve P. posted a pic this morning - he put marshmallows in his coffee. MARSHMALLOWS IN HIS COFFEE?? This is a thing? Why did I not know about this thing?

So, I had to try it too:

 I mean. For real.
As if coffee wasn't fabulous enough.
I don't drink it too often these days, and when I do it's a smaller cup (this Norman Rockwell cup holds a measured cup of liquid.)

Oh la la.

Pretty fantastic, oui?


 (Good Morning Toaster! Good Morning Breadmaker! Good Morning Microwave!)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Bucket List - Updated.

Drove by the old studio tonight, and it has been rented out. There was a moment of deep regret. And then a moment where I thought "I guess this is the thing that is going to MAKE me let it go. It belongs to someone else now." I must move on. There is change I must embrace.

list of things that MUST be accomplished:

*Get the littlest pixie the orthodontics she NEEDS - without having any dental coverage. 
*Get to Nova Scotia for at LEAST a 2 week stretch, but preferably 4 weeks - to hang with all my relatives, now that we're grown ups. Because I was 10 the last time I was there, and that it's a tragedy that it's been so long.
*Make a living out of DANCING (with or without clothing. I'm not picky. Although the 'without' clothing window may be getting smaller.) I am also happily willing to do more dancing for the pure joy of it. But cash would be nice. See first point.)
*Write and get the novel PUBLISHED. This will contribute to my bohemian lifestyle. The novel could be fiction, fantasy, or smut. Don't care really, as long as it is well loved. And brings royalties. (See first point.)
*Get to a small village in the UK, and spend a 4 week stretch there completely alone. Writing, preferably. Again, fiction, fantasty, or smut. Not picky.
*Figure out how to have a WHOLE life with the pixies. Seriously. They are almost 10 and just 11, and I still don't know how to do this. I have MY life, and then my life with THEM. So divided. Maybe if they were belly dancing, tambourine smackin' gypsy's too? Do you think they would embrace living in a travelling company this late in the game??? Maybe they are the perfect age for it? I think expansion on this idea will need a blog of it's own.
*Do more acting. Preferably as the 'bad guy.' or the ' Old Broad.'  I've got a face for it. Heh. (oh yes, get paid for this acting also. See first point.)
*Have lots of time for Yoga. Have lots of time for napping and dreaming. Have lots of time for digging in the dirt.

I'm sure I have things to add to this list. I just can't think of what they are right now. It's pretty warm in here....


Monday, July 2, 2012

I Guess I"m a Vegetarian...

I feel as if I have failed.

I don't like failing.

My rabbits are 18 weeks old now. And I have yet to cull one. The day I had earmarked for this thing, Just as I was ready, the neighbours came home. That's all I need, is for them to see that. (There's no love lost there.)

Now, the kids are home from school. There's no way I'm going to be able to do this with them around. This is a big friggin' deal in my head. I need space and time and organization. I'm not getting it.

So, I'm really pissed. And sad. and angry. Not one of them are on board with this - my family that lives in this house. But not one of them have an issue with gobbling down a hamburger, or a steak, or picking the bones off a chicken carcass. And I figure, this is the thing that will make me a vegetarian. Seriously. Because it's incredibly hypocritical to not be able to follow through with this thing, and still consume animal.

What sense does it make if I cook up a meal and NO ONE eats it, because suddenly THIS doesn't work for them? To have gone through all the work that this has been , to have all of them turn their noses up, is a kick in the teeth.

I've listed all the rabbits on Kijiji. I'm angry about it. As in, FIGHTING mad. I feel separated from everyone under this roof at the moment.

Maybe I'll feel rational about this at some day.
That day is not today.


Sunday, July 1, 2012

Tupperware Parfait Cups.

Yes, it tastes BETTER in these.

 I picked them up at Team Reds Thrift Store in Midland. I let them sit there for a few weeks, and when they were still there, I knew they had to come home with me. And then, I asked my cheffie beloved "Please make me something sweet and parfait-y in them."
There were brownies, and cherry pie filling, and banana pudding. And I was very happy. The pixies were incredibly excited.

I Freekin' love Tupperware.