Saturday, March 8, 2014

Oh Gawds, Is It SPRING Yet?

The weather was warm today. Okay, so the weather people say it only got to -3C, but it FELT like at LEAST +5.

Windows were opened, and the sun was BLAZING! It was wonderful. And, it made me feel like cleaning house.

This morning I listed a few new items on the Little Scotia Store on etsy, and a few items on my other page at etsy, Vintage Witch. It makes me happy. Plus, I've got SO MUCH stuff here! I just got all my toys back home, from the closing of Handmakers Haven. There IS another store opening soon that has offered me a space for my handmade goodies, however, and I'm in the decision process of what goes on etsy, and what will go to the new store!

Ahh, decisions, decisions.

A beautiful resin pin from the 70's - Each leaf and petal is in wonderful condition!

Hepplewhite side table Miniature - on Little Scotia today

There are Farmers Markets starting, in Midland and Penetanguishene, and soon Elmvale and Victoria Harbour too. All sorts of spring shows too.

Ah, I miss my studio space. The basement is just NOT the same. And the livingroom is just a DISASTER of creativity.


Monday, March 3, 2014

Long Boring Ranty Pain Rant.

It hit me on Saturday. Out of nowhere. This BACKPAIN.

It starts around my shoulder blades on the spine... and it is red hot intense at my lower back (I have a herniated disc in that area.) and then the pain changes into something gum-bleeding sweet all the way down my thighs, into my calves and throbbing feet.

My hips hurt.

Today is Monday. I thought for sure I had the day off, but when I actually LOOK at my datebook, I'm supposed to do a thrift store shift. How can I do a thrift store shift when It's painful to NOT be in the fetal position?

It's the only position I'm finding any comfort in. On my back, knees tucked up and pulled as close to my chest as I can get it.

I. Am. Whining.
A Lot.

Painkillers aren't working. Hot baths give some relief for about 10 min after the bath. I cannot seem to locate my hot water bottle. The smelly turpentine rub I use isn't making a lick of difference. I've tried some stretches suggested by a friend who is an RMT. I can't even THINK about yoga.

This is the start of day 3. I'm confused about this, and although I'm PRETTY sure this is ALL about my menstral cycle... I mean, COME ON... this is the worst pain I have ever had in my life. Seriously. Child birth was a BREEZE next to this. And there's little relief. (you know, aside from bending myself into the most ridiculous position, where my feet fall asleep. It's also very awkward to read with your knees stuffed up in your face. )

Usually I have a bit of leg and lower back cramps on the first day of THE FLOOD. But I haven't even started yet. (although I've been getting symptoms for... 6ish days now?)

Is THIS what I have to look forward to in menopause?

And then I think. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIVING WITH THIS EVERY DAY. In some form or another. Fibromialgia, for one. How do they do this without some sort of self medicating intervention? Seriously. This pain has not reached my 'brain' yet.. and by that I mean, it hasn't totally shut me down. I'm able to concentrate on reading, and I'm not crying ... yet. (although that's not all true.. I cried my face off in my car when I pulled up from work on Saturday to see a rather large and heavy snow bank at the end of my driveway that was going to have to be shovelled.  ) However, I don't have the capacity to even take photos of things that I'm wanting to get on etsy. I can't think enough to do any readings for anyone.

This pain MEANS something. I mean, it probably means I'm lacking some vital nutrient or vitamin or mineral... BUT I'm supposed to be learning something from this. The question is, how can I learn when I'm busy sweating and wincing over the pain of it??

This too shall pass. It has too.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Living Temporary.

Life really is Good. Everything is Awesome.

Tomorrow, I have NOTHING booked. And my plans are to CLEAN THE HOUSE. It's embarrassing. Really really really.

Today at the breakfast table, one of my daughters asked if they could paint the bedrooms, when we once again move them around. (They are getting their own rooms finally, as the Big Tall Man-Boy is going to college. )  This is a rental. And we've never painted the rooms. And I realized...

Every year is another year I insist that we will move 'next year'... I would like my OWN place, but realistically I would never be able to float a home on my own.

I have been here ten years. TEN YEARS. In a home that was supposed to be a temporary thing, to help us get on our feet and get our own place. I've never felt settled here. And the house shows it. It's a disaster. Nothing really has a HOME here, as it just hasn't felt like home. Temporary. For ten years. "I'll just set this here for now." And then months later, that THING is still set just there.

I'm working on my  money challenges. They come from what I've learned in childhood. This thing with the house, and the way I live... that comes from childhood too. We moved. A lot. Every place was temporary, and we could be leaving at anytime. Anytime we moved, we were given about a weeks notice, if that. Sometimes it was "So today is Wednesday. On Saturday we are moving, so pack what's important." I'm sure that's where this whole thing comes from with the way I am, with my living space.

Anyway. Tomorrow, I'm putting on my sneakers and cleaning. I need to find homes for the things on the floor and stuffed into nooks and cranny's with no reason. Hang my clothing.

And perhaps think about paint colours for the girls rooms. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Hawt Like Dat.

Today FEELS like it's been a big day.

I had my first coaching call with a Law of Attraction coach. It was HEAVY, and I really didn't think it would be. We are working on deconstruction my "money" habits and the vibrations I currently have towards money. With a few simple sentences she brought out a TONNE of stuff that left me purging with tears. BIZARRE. Here I was expecting Love and Light and Touchy Feely Good Times...

I felt silly crying, but also understood that those tears were removing blockages. She walked me through a very nice meditation, and I came off the call (it ran about an hour and twenty minutes.) feeling lighter - and with some things to think about and write about.

I also have to do some meditations and visualizations ... I feel like I'm playing catch up, because I DO this stuff normally on my own. I'm grateful for the connection.

Then I went to my doctors new office. It's smaller, but I think he's got extra rooms he didn't have before. It was hard to tell, because it was all twisty turny in there. Anyway, I went in to show him a spot on my arm and on my face. I'm a little sensitive to skin 'stuff' after having cancer removed from my face back in...was it 2007? Anyway, out comes the liquid nitrogen and ssssss ssssss on my face and arm.

Didn't see that coming. I figured I'd be shipped off to the skin guy to have some removed and tested. But my Doc said they didn't look or behave like cancer. He actually said "When it doubt, zap it." I laughed. I like him. He laughs so much easier as we both get older. (He's been my Doc since I was 11. ) Now my arm and face have a red sore spot after the burny burny icy burn.

Good Times.

Then, a girlfriend looked at my bashed car. (She knows stuff about cars. She's Hawt Like Dat.) and assured me that it wasn't an emergency that needed to be fixed right away. I felt better for it.

Now, I"m sitting here with a bottle of water, after stuffing my face with raisins. Just approved an ad that will run on top of the Pizza Pizza boxes shortly in my town.

I need a nap. But I have a tarot reading in about an hour, so I'll have to drink tea instead. (I've had nothing caffienated yet today. That, and the emotional purge earlier, are adding to the "oooh, I need to nap." thing.


Oh, by the way. I've begun writing again. I hope it turns out to be a story! ha!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Why For, Any Of It?

Today, I am having a "What's it all about" sort of day. "It" being Life.
All the wishing and all the struggle and all the planning and dreaming. All the work that people do, and all of the goals we set for ourselves. All the worrying. All the hoping.

How did this start today... well, it's Family Day, so the day got off to a delightfully slow start. A late wake up, and a tea, and a long hot bath. The littles have been going rounds with playing with each other and fighting with each other upstairs away from me, while the eldest sleeps as he has to work tonight.

I've been reading. Then I spent some time taking the meat off of a chicken carcass I boiled this morning, for a soup base. Then I got online and planned out my spring/summer garden, going through seeds. I also looked around my very messy house and thought about cleaning it. In there somewhere, the "What's it all about" hit me. Why do I do any of this? Why do any of us do any of it?

I have a craft/art corner set up in the messy livingroom that I haven't used in about a month. I have a violin sitting on my craft chair, also untouched for weeks and weeks. I have a disasterous kitchen. A frightening basement full of THINGS that I only keep because at some point I paid money for these things... (kids toys, craft stuff, clothing. Collectable shit.)

 Then I start in on myself about MONEY. Gah.

I really want my life to mean something. It doesn't have to be BIG and splashy. I just want to mean something, do something good for people. Have a reason for being. A reason that doesn't involve a race after money, goals that involve accumulation.

If only I could live off of Love. Live to accumulate love, and give love, live IN love... and have that be enough.

What would I do all day if I didn't have to worry about money? I would still garden. I would dance a lot. I would read and nap without guilt that I wasn't DOING anything. I would write stories. I would walk more. I would do more yoga.

I still probably wouldn't have it in me to clean the house though.


I wonder what this day is trying to teach me.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Tomato Plant Stink and Mint Babies.

My seeds came in from The Cottage Gardener today, while I was out. Yay! The box was small enough to just fit into the mailbox. Squee!!

Green Man who minds my Tower Garden

They've got new packaging this year. It's pretty. And in colour. 
The Cottage Gardener new seed pack design.

It looks like the collection packs have new packaging, too. 
The Cottage Gardener Kitchen Garden Herb Collection.

Also, we got to the end of a head of lettuce I actually purchased. (The Tower Garden lettuce is ready now, though. We've been picking at it.) Anyway, popped the end into a plastic container and stuck it on the Tower, in front of the lights. This is only 2 days of growth! I'm assuming I will need to put some food in that container soon, though. 
Growing lettuce from old lettuce

Here's a full view of the Tower Garden. So, one of the lettuces I bought just WON'T go crispy. It stays soft and buttery. (A packet I bought last year from the grocery I think..or maybe Canadian Tire.) the Mesclun Mix around the sides and backs are doing okay though. 
The Tower Garden in my kitchen

and,  See those TINY TINY little guys? That is Mint. That I planted 2 months ago. And I pretty much gave up on them. Was going to put something else in the spot, and when I checked yesterday, (or the day before???) boom... babies. Mint babies.
Mint. Please be Mint.

A nice close up shot of the flower buds that the tomatoes finally have... I"m going to have to cut back some of the green on these guys soon. At this rate, I should have fresh tomatoes from the tower in... March or so. Heh. Handling these gives me the Tomato Plant Stink on my hands. hehe. 
Tomatoes finally have little flower buds.

Now that all my seeds are here, I'm going to have to see about getting some small containers for indoors, for the herbs that won;t fit in the Tower Garden right now...