Sweater Yeti.

THIS is the Sweater Yeti.
I had set out to make a "Tooth Beary", but as he came together, he tersely corrected me.
"SWEATER YETI. Say it."

He's tall, and firm. And sort of grumpy.
Ok. He's really grumpy.

And He just happens to have a pocket on his back.
He says it's not for teeth.
"It's for cool, manly man stuff."

I tried to put him with the rest of the stuffies.
He promptly said:
"See that bear back there. Total Candy-Ass."
His words. Not mine.

He then proceeded to make everyone hate him.
So, I had to move him.
I told him I still really REALLY like him.
He told me to "Stuff it."
I said, I already did.
He didn't think my joke was funny.

I moved him over onto the big chair, next to the Homo Sweet Homo pillow.
He was happier there.
But, he told me to tell NO ONE.
Then I told him I was going to make him some pants.
He gave me the finger.
Which is pretty impressive for a stuffed bear
with no fingers.

True Story.