Mainly, because in reality, I'm not even close to this thing. There is a smidge of debt that comes before the task of saving a down payment.. and then the bigger reality that owning a home will require me to work more than 3 days a week somewhere.
I've seriously been preoccupied with this notion ... well, I guess sometime around the time when I was bit with the bug to have a yellow kitchen of my own. I used to have a tea on Sunday morning and slowly go over the real estate section in quite contemplation. I used to surf the MLS every day and fill in all the little blanks: How many rooms? How many bathrooms? What side of town? Oooh, lets look at all the pictures! I still do these things, just not as regularly in the past few years... I've almost given up on the idea that home ownership is for me. But, I still catch myself makimg note of the for sale signs as we drive down the street.
The questions I've been asking myself:
- Is this MY desire at all, or has someone, or society at large, slipped into my subconscious that it is what is expected of me? That somehow it will make me feel as if I have succeeded at... something?
- What do I feel that home ownership will really DO for me and my family?
- Would I even be able to maintain a home?
- Do I want to still be working full time to make mortgage payments when I'm 63?
I think I feel that buying a house would solve some problems.
The pixies are crammed into a closet of a bedroom, and they are going to need some space... SOON.
A second bathroom would be wonderful. I can't count the amount of times I've been joined by a child who's got to poop, when I'm trying to have a relaxing mom-bath.
I'd be able to do permanent fixes in the house. Painting. flooring. A finished basement.
Also, permanent outdoor stuff. Gardens, fences.
So much else.
However, then I have moments where I think... I want one of THESE:
Am I wasting energy thinking about this thing? This thing that, as each year passes, seems less and less likely? Perhaps this thing just isn't meant for me after all? I feel a little sick thinking about never having a home...
I"m still chewing on this one... Still trying to work it out.