I realized today, while laying exhausted... that I am going to have to work from home this summer.
This shouldn't be a big deal. It shouldn't be news, either. But it's going to take a bit of planning. Because I have far more financial obligations than I did the last time I stayed home with the kids for the summer, which was the summer before last.
Last summer, I worked full time, and although I appreciated the money, I hated not being at home. I feel like I didn't do anything good or summery with my kids. My garden went to shit, and I got NOTHING from it. I was really unhappy about it. I missed summer. I missed my kids. I missed important things. My memories of it leave me feeling extremely dissatisfied and angry.
This cannot happen this year, in the name of the dollar.
I can't pay for daycare. I don't want to be continually dumping them elsewhere. And, I WANT to spend time with them. I feel like I am brushing them off in favour of going to work, which pays for things that ARE NOT that important. Not important enough to be brushing off my kids. And they are getting to an age where it is as important as EVER for me to be around... Ask me about my own childhood at this age, and you'd understand why this is such a big deal for me.
I have to figure out what the dollar amount IS that I will require to stay home this summer. What amount will I have to earn weekly in order to make this happen.
I hope the universe delivers a plan to me pretty soon.
And some energy to make it happen.
That's it. I'm tired. 8:24pm. I'm to bed.