Midland Ontario ART. Granny Craft Techniques, Punk Rock Attitude.
Blog! Secret Giggly Adventures of a Poet, Forced to Live in Real Life.
Gardening, Art Dolls, Paintings, and Bad Behaviour.
Little Scotia has been invited to sell items at Penelope PickleBottoms
new shop in Midland Ontario! So exciting!
Located at 231 King Street, across from
Brunelle's Jewellery, inside a new mini mall where the pizza place used
to be. (You know you're from a small town when you give directions like
THAT!!)
The Little Scotia items that will be available at Penelope Picklebottoms will be small kid oriented stuff - Sock Monkeys, printed dolls, playable stuff! If you are interested more in the adult - art dolls, you should come to the Little Scotia Facebook page, until I find a home to carry those!!!
I realized today, while laying exhausted... that I am going to have to work from home this summer.
This shouldn't be a big deal. It shouldn't be news, either. But it's going to take a bit of planning. Because I have far more financial obligations than I did the last time I stayed home with the kids for the summer, which was the summer before last.
Last summer, I worked full time, and although I appreciated the money, I hated not being at home. I feel like I didn't do anything good or summery with my kids. My garden went to shit, and I got NOTHING from it. I was really unhappy about it. I missed summer. I missed my kids. I missed important things. My memories of it leave me feeling extremely dissatisfied and angry.
This cannot happen this year, in the name of the dollar.
I can't pay for daycare. I don't want to be continually dumping them elsewhere. And, I WANT to spend time with them. I feel like I am brushing them off in favour of going to work, which pays for things that ARE NOT that important. Not important enough to be brushing off my kids. And they are getting to an age where it is as important as EVER for me to be around... Ask me about my own childhood at this age, and you'd understand why this is such a big deal for me.
I have to figure out what the dollar amount IS that I will require to stay home this summer. What amount will I have to earn weekly in order to make this happen.
I hope the universe delivers a plan to me pretty soon.
And some energy to make it happen.
So, today was the third date of the theatre show I'm in.
First night went very well. Audience howled at everything.
Second night was great - different type of audience, but every audience differs. They were quiet in the first act, but laughed in the second act, as they had listened to all the set up in the first.
Today was a Sunday matinee. And I reeeally really don't want to talk about it. I think we all managed to cover our butts, barely. I really screwed up right at the beginning. And although I tried to shake it, ... just gah. I'm disappointed in myself for missing any of my parts. Because I'm better than that.
We don't go on again until Thursday. I will be reviewing my lines. Intensely.
I also had to give up my very flashy bow at the end. I come out at the beginning of the play in a bustier... and end the play in a skirt and blazer. I was coming out with the blazer wrapped around me and then FLASHING the audience the bustier underneath. It got GREAT response. However, today after act 1, I was told I wasn't to do that anymore. It took the juice right out of me. So, everone else got to do their fun little act before their bow. I get to just walk out. Ah well. At least everyone else got their response.
Anyway. I'm sure I have far more interesting things to talk about, with the behind the scenes of the theatre... I just can't find them today.
I hope THE THING that is supposed to come from this makes itself OBVIOUS soon.
I've been memorizing lines, as I'm acting in the next Huronia Players production in Midland Ontario. Communicating Doors!
And, now all the town has seen me in a corset.
Just wait till they see what I ACTUALLY wear on stage!
My character is a Dominatrix Prostitute... with a cockney accent.
Yeah, I said it.
In an accent.
but you couldn't hear it 'cause... your readin'...
You know Amateur Night at "The Bar" is only a hop-skip-and-jump away. HAAAAA.
I will never be mayor....
I wanted to go. But I'm a mom. and Mom's just can't jump ship for a weekend to go to Comicon. Not yet, anyway. Some adventures will just have to wait until they are all launched.
And when they are, I'm going to paint a trailer on wheels to look just like this teapot, and I'm getting myself a companion every season or two. ADVENTURE!
Anyway. I got a very very cool teapot. If it's bigger on the inside, I will FOR SURE never ever finish all the tea I brew. (A habit which has become a running theme with me, I guess...)
Also. Yesterday was Mothers day. I took the kids out to the Cheapest Pizza Place in town. It was really nice having all 3 of them there. Then, the waitress gave the girls a rose and some chocolate to give to me. WOW!! It was so sweet. Best family restaurant ever.
The Teenager-Man gave me 2 boxes of chocolate. But waited till his little sisters were in bed to give it to me. Because he was convinced they would beg me for treats. Heh.
I have a pretty good life. But I've been pretty effin whiny lately.
I'm tired. I'm behind with my bills. I want to throw in the towel with everything I am, and just join the zombie walk. And then I hate myself for even thinking it.
Because I can make MAGIC! I've done it before, I can do it again! It's really hard to do that though when I keep repeating to myself "Ooh, girl, you are soooo up the creek of shit."
Everything else should be good. I'm going to be in a play coming up, and that's a bit of fun. And the Universe says it's going to bring some sort of opportunity, although I can't imagine what that is.
The time I would normally dedicate to finding the money to pay the bills, has been spent memorizing lines.. and fretting that I have no money. It's a vicious cycle. I'm REALLY really too divided right now.
I'm working at the thrift store again (because MONEY.), and am maybe doing 4 pairs of feet a week with Reflexology. I am maybe doing a tarot reading once every two weeks... as I just have no time around everything else. I actually have to SCHEDULE time in for my kids, or I will fill it with something in my day planner. Insane. I know.
How did it come to be this way?
And what is the learning in this?
I'm sure if I removed myself from the emotion and had a good look at it, I would SEE it.
I just feel like I'm in free fall. Not the good kind that Tom Petty was talking about. The SCARY ass kind, where your effin' tail flappy bit has just broken right off and all the lights and buzzers are going off and you don't know if pushing any of them would even solve anything at all.
I'm thinking back to a time when I feel like I had my shit together. Like, I could do all the fun stuff and had just enough money to do what was needed for the house and kids. And I was joy and happy and love and life was easy. Is this pulsing headache and gut wrenching stress just a state of mind? Do I need to just meditate more?
I really want to focus on GOOD things, positive things. But, I think I'm struggling with the idea of having to choose a path. Because I'm not sure how to make all that I insist on juggling fit together into one little basket.
I'm babbling. And eating many many chocolate chip cookies.
I do all the things. There is a freedom and giddiness in being a Jill of all trades... I feel LIMITLESS. I can act, and sing, and create in so many different ways, and I love Momming, and gardening, and I can heal and am the chattiest happiest customer service person ever. I can naturally be a fantabulous lover and partner when I'm not so divided... I'm mediocre at all of it when I'm divided.
