Today is one of my rare days off, that I have felt like I have enough energy to DO something. I've cleaned out corners, and for the last few hours have been touching ALL THE THINGS to sort through and appease my undiagnosed but very obvious mania when it comes to STUFF. And no one can touch it for me - I have to physically touch all the things with my own hands.
It feels very very good to get through it.
The last few moons I've been making it clear that my little family is READY for a home. I had specified it should be one that was OURS. The voices whispered at me about 3 days ago "Uh, Lori, you've GOT a house. Now, make it a home."
Ooooh. Right. (We rent. But technically it is a house. I'm learning that each and
every time, I forget to specify some itty bitty detail. Like "We are
BUYING the house." )
So, today I have made a start.
I missed the entire summer. I kid you not. There was that one day where I took the pixies to Elmvale for all the festivities available there, on a budget. And the day Mel took the pixies and I blueberry picking. And, that pretty much was it. My garden is laid to waste. No food has been consumed or preserved from it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to save the few beans that made a go of it without my aid, and I'm pretty sure the few tomatoes are gone to mush on the vine.
I'm extremely disappointed. I'm disapointed that I feel as if I've been so absent this summer, in the name of the dollar. What has happened to me? The sad thing is that the amount I'm making, is just a little over what I make when I'm doing my own thing full time. (Tarot and art and selling stuff like a gypsy.) What sacrifice this feels it has been.
But, it's coming around. I've felt a HUGE shift in the last few weeks inside myself - less zombie, more restless. I've been getting lots of big messages and little whispering hints that I need to get ready for it. So, I am. And part of that is cleaning out my house, physically and with the buring of the sage, to make room for the new things coming. Gotta make room.
Today, it's the tidy tidy. My next day off will be for trading rooms with the pixies. I currently have the master, and they share a small cubby of a room. They need a bigger space, and I have to somehow create some privacy for them - most likely with a curtain hung down the centre of the room. (My next day off, I believe is ...a week from now, between the tarot bookings, my J.O.B. and the live portion of my reflexology course.)
It's going to be a chore to pack up both of our rooms to trade - there's not really a "third" space to shift stuff from the first room into, while moving the second room over. But, I'll work it out. I'll most likely have to enlist an extra pair of hands. Bunk beds on one's own is most likely an accident waiting to happen.
Blaa blaa blaa. Sometimes writing here just helps me organize it all in my head.