Monday, March 3, 2014

Long Boring Ranty Pain Rant.

It hit me on Saturday. Out of nowhere. This BACKPAIN.

It starts around my shoulder blades on the spine... and it is red hot intense at my lower back (I have a herniated disc in that area.) and then the pain changes into something gum-bleeding sweet all the way down my thighs, into my calves and throbbing feet.

My hips hurt.

Today is Monday. I thought for sure I had the day off, but when I actually LOOK at my datebook, I'm supposed to do a thrift store shift. How can I do a thrift store shift when It's painful to NOT be in the fetal position?

It's the only position I'm finding any comfort in. On my back, knees tucked up and pulled as close to my chest as I can get it.

I. Am. Whining.
A Lot.

Painkillers aren't working. Hot baths give some relief for about 10 min after the bath. I cannot seem to locate my hot water bottle. The smelly turpentine rub I use isn't making a lick of difference. I've tried some stretches suggested by a friend who is an RMT. I can't even THINK about yoga.

This is the start of day 3. I'm confused about this, and although I'm PRETTY sure this is ALL about my menstral cycle... I mean, COME ON... this is the worst pain I have ever had in my life. Seriously. Child birth was a BREEZE next to this. And there's little relief. (you know, aside from bending myself into the most ridiculous position, where my feet fall asleep. It's also very awkward to read with your knees stuffed up in your face. )

Usually I have a bit of leg and lower back cramps on the first day of THE FLOOD. But I haven't even started yet. (although I've been getting symptoms for... 6ish days now?)

Is THIS what I have to look forward to in menopause?

And then I think. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIVING WITH THIS EVERY DAY. In some form or another. Fibromialgia, for one. How do they do this without some sort of self medicating intervention? Seriously. This pain has not reached my 'brain' yet.. and by that I mean, it hasn't totally shut me down. I'm able to concentrate on reading, and I'm not crying ... yet. (although that's not all true.. I cried my face off in my car when I pulled up from work on Saturday to see a rather large and heavy snow bank at the end of my driveway that was going to have to be shovelled.  ) However, I don't have the capacity to even take photos of things that I'm wanting to get on etsy. I can't think enough to do any readings for anyone.

This pain MEANS something. I mean, it probably means I'm lacking some vital nutrient or vitamin or mineral... BUT I'm supposed to be learning something from this. The question is, how can I learn when I'm busy sweating and wincing over the pain of it??

This too shall pass. It has too.

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